My Musings


The Journey Present

After enduring the sickness and death of my beloved father, Everett, working to grow my business, and live a more balanced life, I still couldn't kick the anxiety.

The panic attacks had greatly receded but the anxiety was present on the daily. Still I forged on attending networking events, meetings with prospective clients, filling orders, and working on all aspects of the business. The introvert in me told me I couldn't handle the pace, the people, and the responsibility. And I believed it.

My blood pressure finally reached a level I could no longer sustain so I went back on medication. Yet the anxiety endured. It wasn't until my daughter told me something that would change my mindset about anxiety meds that I was willing to actually get help again. You see, my middle granddaughter, Evie, has congenital hypothyroidism. She takes medicine every day of her life to make her thyroid work properly. Kailah told me one day, "Mom, there is nothing wrong with taking medication for a health issue. If Evie didn't take her medication every single day, she'd be very sick. But she takes her medicine and her thyroid does its job and she's healthy. It's the same for you. Your brain's connections aren't working properly and all you need is a medication to help those connections work."

She was absolutely right. I visited my doctor, worked through a few different types of medication and here and now I am going public with the fact that I'm on anxiety meds. And I've never felt better, mentally, in over 20 years. While I know I've lived with anxiety for half my life, I never wanted to really do anything about it out of fear of what others might think.

When I started going through perimenopause I had a groundwork of anxiety that laid the path for panic attacks once my hormones jumped on the roller coaster. One small pill every day has created peace like I've never known. My doctor ceased the blood pressure meds because treating my anxiety was really what I needed and my blood pressure returned to normal.

Praisefully I got my anxiety under control because the physical effects of perimenopause were about to get really real y'all.

So began the hot flashes, weight gain, REALLY erratic cycles, brain fog (as in forgetting everything, no hope of functioning without coffee, and inability to recall basic words), and mood swings. Lord, have mercy on my husband.

#Perimenopause #Wellness #Anxiety #Peace #SelfCare #MidlifeWoman

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